But (Insert Pronoun Here) Should Already Know!

It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that our loved ones should automatically know what's important to us without us having to say anything.  After all, isn't that the definition of caring?  The short answer is - No!  In relationships it's true that people will often intuit what we want without our communicating it, but not always.  Sometimes what we want isn't as obvious as we think, or the people we're with are distracted for some reason, or they're just not skilled at being empathically proactive.

Similarly, sometimes we think that asking for what we want from our partner(s) will cheapen the experience of getting it.  The truth is that for the most part this isn't the case.  In fact it can mean quite a lot to request something from a loved one and have them hear you, and then provide it.

So a critical skill to employ in relationships:  If you want something don't be shy about asking for it.  You might just get it, and that might feel pretty great.